My head is a place that hosts two theme parties: Fun and Fantasy, and Clutter and Chaos.
I’d happily dive into Fun and Fantasy and go over it in detail with you, but perhaps another time over a nice cup of tea. Right now, let’s discuss the exciting mess of Clutter and Chaos. This theme party would commonly look like this: Little me’s, about thirty of them, are running laps in my mind while screaming at the top of their lungs.
There’s a fire in the corner, a siren screeching on full blast, and a strange radio audio playing somewhere but nowhere to be found and located. The red lights are flashing to indicate danger, and a good old-fashioned earthquake rumbles the headquarters of my brain.
Yes, that’s me. That’s my head. But only when I’m in panic mode. Surprisingly, though not quite, I seem quite relaxed on the exterior. You’d find me sat somewhere looking as though I’m daydreaming a calm and serene dream. I’m really just trying to locate the source of that stupid radio audio in my head so I could switch the damned thing off.
Because as soon as that’s switched off, there’s less noise. Less noise helps me tackle the thirty little me’s running around one by one, and telling them to get a grip, one by one. And you see that big, shiny red button in the centre of the brain room? That’s the reset button right there, and I’d slap it exasperatedly, and voila! Brain reset.
Of course, doing all that is through reminding myself to breathe and think pragmatically. Why was I running and screaming like a headless chicken when the issue at hand was not even horrifying to begin with?
It’s the dramatic tendency to blow things out of proportion and make them seem more than what they are, to make myself increasingly stress my way through a comfort show without really watching.
It’s all easier said than done. Sometimes, when we live in our heads for too long, we forget what’s real from what isn’t. So, it’s probably best we reel back into reality as often as we could, and focus on what’s real. Don’t get me wrong — I quite like the dream realm, but it can often escalate into a horror film, and as much as I love watching those, I definitely don’t enjoy living through one.
So, this clutter and chaos event has been intense and a life experience I will learn from, but I think it’s time to call it a night and leave this party for a good night’s rest.